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As a psychiatrist, I feel strongly that letting go of resentments, a point I emphasize in my recent book “ Emotional Freedom ,” is essential to free yourself from negativity. The main person the resentment hurts is you.

Emotional Freedom

A resentment is a grudge that you harbor after you’ve felt mistreated. It’s easy to hold on to all the incidents that angered you, from a gossiping hairdresser to a two-timing ex-husband. And, if you took a poll, you’d probably get a lot of people on your side about your right to stay resentful. According to such logic, as time passes, you have “the right” to get angrier, becoming a broken record of complaints. But is that the sour person you want to be? Instead, for emotional freedom, try to release resentments and let compassion purify them. One friend, in the midst of that process, likened uncovering resentments to “dragging dead bodies out of a well.” You don’t want moldering negativity rotting your psyche.

Forgiveness is a state of grace, nothing you can force or pretend. I guide patients toward the large-heartedness to forgive both injuries others have caused and those they’ve self-inflicted. Forgiveness penetrates the impenetrable — the obstinacy that stifles love, the tenacious pain that dams our energy reserves. A Stanford research study showed that forgiveness significantly decreases stress, rage and psychosomatic symptoms. I’m not saying that betrayal is ever justified, that you aren’t entitled to be upset if someone wrongs you, or that you shouldn’t try to improve or else leave a destructive situation. Forgiveness, though, ensures that resentments don’t feed on your energy. Finally, remember forgiveness refers to the actor, not the act — not the offense but the woundedness of the offender.

Strategies to Let Resentments Go

Set Your Intention to Release the Resentment Cultivate Forgiveness Take a Reality Check

Compassion opens a hidden door to a secret world that exists beyond anger. Notwithstanding, the feelings of anger or forgiveness aren’t mutually exclusive. You can simultaneously experience varying degrees of both. Perhaps, at first, you’re a little forgiving and very angry. But when you progress, the scales increasingly tip toward forgiveness as your attachment to anger recedes.

Montréal's Top
Employers (2018)
Winners from our 13 annual editorial competition
Pedestrians on Rue Ste-Catherine heading home after work
The new Montréal head office of Nestlé Nespresso Canada
An employee at Concordia University trying new VR technology at the university‘s Technology Sandbox
An employee at Croesus Finansoft adding an idea to the Innovation Wall at the company's Montréal head office

About the Competition

First published in 2006, Montréal's Top Employers is an annual competition organized by the editors of Canada's Top 100 Employers. This special designation recognizes the employers in Peter Pilotto Woman Asymmetrical Taffeta Oneshoulder Midi Dress Tomato Red Size 14 Peter Pilotto G974aWhhKt
that lead their industries in offering exceptional places to work. This year's winners were announced on February 1, 2018 in a Preowned Sandal Charlotte Olympia Hi8gUW
published in the Montreal Gazette. Read the press release issued the same day for more background on this year’s competition: English | Womens Caggie Party Dress Coast vfZ169z

The new Montréal head office of Nestlé Nespresso Canada

Employers are evaluated by the editors of Canada's Top 100 Employers using the same eight criteria as the national competition: (1) Physical Workplace; (2) Work Atmosphere Social; (3) Health, Financial Family Benefits; (4) Vacation Time Off; (5) Employee Communications; (6) Performance Management; (7) Training Skills Development; and (8) Community Involvement. Employers are compared to other organizations in their field to determine which offer the most progressive and forward-thinking programs.

An employee at Concordia University trying new VR technology at the university‘s Technology Sandbox

Our media partner on the Montréal's Top Employers project is the Montreal Gazette, the oldest continuously published newspaper in North America. Each year, the winners are announced in a special magazine published in the Montreal Gazette, which includes a summary of our editors' reasons for selecting each employer.

An employee at Croesus Finansoft adding an idea to the Innovation Wall at the company's Montréal head office

Any employer with its head office or principal place of business in Womens Ladies Retro Leggings Urban Classic LXsvT9
may apply for this competition. Employers of any size may apply, whether private or public sector.

Applications for our 2019 competition will be available early in 2018. Our 2019 winners will be announced in a special magazine in the Montreal Gazette early in 2019.

Join our mailing list

To learn more about the competition, we invite you to join us at the Top Employer Summit , our annual editorial conference on the Canada’s Top 100 Employers project. This event lets you discover the latest best practices from winners, meet competition organizers and editors, and hear inspiring stories from world-class speakers – all presented in a commercial-free format. The conference is Canada’s largest annual event for senior-level HR professionals.

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